Genuine heart connections sometimes happen when you least expect them. It had been more than 10 years since Ms. M had felt the heart-pounding, breathtaking, intense, and ethereal connection she came to feel in only a matter of days with Mr. M. She felt this tender soul was surely placed on her path by the heavens and those watching over her who knew her heart and her longing for a pure, spiritual and all encompassing kind of love. She stayed single for 20 years after her divorce and had not dated in more than 10 years because she’d lost faith, had no interest in the quality of men she had met after her divorce, and the dating apps she tried resulted in disappointing and often absurd experiences. She often felt like she’d been born in the wrong era. She didn’t align with the modern version of soulless love, based on sex, materialism, and anything less than sacred relationships and marriages. She witnessed this too often in society and even in her own family and among her friends. She firmly believed in a love that stands the test of time and is capable of shattering all kinds of barriers of space and time.
Ms. M longed for a love story like the infamous Love Story Movie by Erich Segal from 1970, which she had watched at least a dozen times by age 15, and which had imprinted in her, an ideal and standard for real love in her young and innocent teen heart. Ms. M never in her wildest dreams thought she would meet anyone like Mr. M, and without exaggeration, she never thought anyone like him even existed. She now undeniably believes God/Goddess has always known her heart! And that is so comforting!
On the third Sunday in June, Ms. M attended an 11am yoga class at her gym, like she did every Sunday, whenever possible. Sunday morning yoga helped her go inward, breathe, move, release, gather strength, connect to her heart and the beautiful community of yoga students who congregated every Sunday to heartfelt, inspiring music, and the expert guidance of their favorite, divine feminine, and angelic yoga teacher, Ms. A. who taught to packed classes. She always elevated the student’s lives with sublime, encouraging words infused with love and wisdom. Sunday’s yoga classes were Ms. M’s version of church, because they were always so inspiring and relevant to life experiences. These classes always surpassed the dogma and church services she had ever attended since childhood, plus they included movement, so were a somatic experience.
Ms. M designated Sundays as her spa day. The day when she would spend a few hours at the gym after yoga class in the Recovery area, which included an infrared sauna, steam room, cold plunge and hot plunge. Since she did yoga on an empty stomach or bullet-proof coffee, she would drink a green juice from the gym coolers before going into the saunas, in order to hydrate, nourish her body with delicious liquid green nutrients and minerals. As she stood at the front desk drinking her juice, she asked if she could take the juice into the sauna, but the juice was packaged in a glass bottle, so not allowed in the Recovery area. After exchanging a few words with a new male employee (Mr. M) standing at the front desk, she sat down on a bench by the windows to slowly sip and savor her delicious green juice and then Mr. M approached the bench and sat down next to her. For the next hour, she lost track of time as she gazed into the most spectacular and soulful eyes she had ever encountered, as they spoke of nutrition, world affairs, and everything else under the sun.
It was less than a month since they’d met, but felt like lifetimes of knowing one another, before he spent close to a week at her apartment, as he searched for a new place to live. Time stood still for all eternity in those days. She felt as if she were floating through life. All the walls she had built around her heart for the past 20 years came tumbling down in a matter of hours and miraculous changes started taking place in her. Her yoga teaching reached an entirely new level of depth and spirituality with not only her private clients, but with the resident MDs she taught yoga to at a local hospital. She was filled with so much unconditional love in her heart that she longed to shower her yoga students with this gift, and so she did! The results were beautiful to behold, not only in her students, but also within her. She loved sharing what her heart was bursting with, with others! The female Chief of Internal Medicine at the hospital took a recent class and when it finished, thanked Ms. M for bringing her Divine Feminine gifts to the MDs! Those were her exact words. Ms. M was blown away by the compliment and felt completely seen and understood by the MD. This MD regularly practiced meditation and required her resident MDs to take the yoga classes offered through the non-profit Kula for Karma that Ms M did a yoga teacher training with.
Mr. M had been having some health issues when they met and consulted with Ms. M to help him figure out what to do about them. After several text messages and in person exchanges which started the same day they met, they had a 3.5 hour meeting to discuss his intake documents at an outdoor cafe. Ms. M had become aware shortly after meeting Mr. M that she felt an overwhelming desire to take care of Mr. M, something that just sprung up from her heart, seemingly out of nowhere. She also kept hearing the words “Be unconditionally loving” “You must show him unconditional love, because that is what he needs to feel” over and over again, like whispers from angels, guiding her towards what this man most needed from her and in his life. Mr. M told Ms. M he had never experienced unconditional love from his partners or his parents. Ms. M was able to offer him unconditional love, because she had received it from two grandmothers as a child, especially her maternal grandmother, who was also her mother figure. She had also started taking a Bach Flower Essence for Unconditional Love, religiously and before she met Mr. M.
Mr. M had some childhood trauma and relationship wounds he had been working through and when they met he shared them with her. Ms. M felt deeply called to help him heal these. He brought out the healer in her, the way no other client, friend or yoga student ever had. He also brought out her ability to love a man unconditionally, the way a mother loves her babies/children. He was 25 years her junior, so he also elicited a mother’s love for an adult son in her, but his physical beauty was like none she’d ever seen and so she also experienced an undeniable sense of desire for a man, for the first time in a decade or more. He filled her heart and spirit to the brim, just with his stunning, gentle presence, and completely open, sweet and surrendered heart. His boyish nature was so endearing, she felt her heart would burst with the love and affection she felt for him. Her health monitoring watch kept sending her notices that her heart rate was too high! Ha! Little did it understand the immense love blossoming inside of her, or the flames of desire that had been ignited, without warning!
Ms. M felt as if she had already shared several lifetimes with Mr. M. She intuited she had been his mother, spiritual partner and wife/lover before. Powerful individually, but even more so as a trio, because in this lifetime, she felt like she was all of the above to him, at the same time! The feeling of recognition and Deja Vu was overwhelming, from the moment they met. There was a sense of ease and flow in every exchange they had, either in person or via text messages. He never said no to anything she suggested to facilitate his healing and she felt incapable of ever saying no to him. Their friendship unfolded into an organic and complete surrender to one another, even though they barely knew one another. Nothing Mr. M did bothered Ms. M, not even having his belongings scattered all around her small apartment. Known for being OCD about cleanliness and order, this certainly surprised her, but she recognized it for what it was, another gift!
One night while Ms. M was preparing dinner (they took turns saying grace before each meal they shared and Mr. M recited a beautiful poem he had written giving thanks to Jesus), Mr. M, sitting at the dinner table with his back to her, asked her if she believed in destiny. Ms. M replied that yes, she believed in destiny, but that she also believed in free will. She said God will put people on our path but it is up to us to say yes or no to any of these gifts The Divine sends our way. Ms. M told Mr. M how she felt that her former husband was placed in her life to get her out of a tumultuous relationship with an older man she loved deeply who had been a father figure, mentor, friend, confidant, travel companion and lover. Ms. M recognized it for what it was, and accepted an almost immediate marriage proposal from Mr. C, but then broke off the engagement and cancelled the wedding, because Mr. C was so different from the man she had been unconditionally in love with for 4 years, even though that relationship wasn’t going in the direction that the older man, Mr. R had promised it would. She later reconsidered and reached out to Mr. C and they were married shortly thereafter. Ms. M was completely taken with the idea of marriage, and was ready to settle down and start a family. Mr. C was extremely laid back, easy to be around, generous, and told her “he would always do right by her,” so it felt like the right decision to make. She had heard a voice in her room one night whisper to her “You know, you can marry him” after one of their lunch dates. It didn’t hurt that Ms. M thought marriage would be the end all answer to all her relationship problems, childhood traumas, and desire to finally be fully loved by a partner. Ms. M stayed married for 16 years to Mr. C and had 4 daughters with him, but their relationship never deepened and her husband did not believe in the kind of love Ms. M knew was possible between a man and a woman, because he had never experienced it. Ms. M had experienced it with the man 18 years her senior, so she knew it existed. She also did not feel loved and honored by her husband even though she lived the American dream and lacked for nothing in her life with him. They owned two beautiful homes, belonged to a number of country clubs, had a boat and all the trappings of a material life. They had an idyllic life in many ways. Ms. M lived like a queen on the outside, but her husband didn’t fill her heart with love, her babies did that for her. She felt this way for several years before asking her husband for a divorce. She did not want to spend the rest of her life next to him, felt disingenuous staying in the marriage any longer.
While Mr. M was staying with her (together, but separate) Ms. M felt she had done everything humanly possible to convey unconditional love to Mr. M within the constraints of a platonic relationship, which is what they had (at least on the surface). Mr. M was incredibly easy for her to love, effortless actually. Mr. M did not try to romance her, or be with her intimately. Their time spent together in her apartment for those 5 nights, felt like an amazing friendship, as well as a pure and sacred match made in heaven, even though he often walked around in a bath towel after showering and before changing into his clothes which were in boxes and bags in her living room. She had to contain her feelings as sometimes she felt as thought she might faint from holding her breath! He also left the bedroom door a jar a few nights, while she slept on her sofa bed. She barely slept while he was there and would listen to love songs all night long and sing along softly. One morning he came out of her bedroom and asked her if she had been singing around 4am in the morning. She smirked and replied, well it wasn’t my dog!
One day, she made assumptions, the fear kicked in and she pulled back, withheld the mothering and unconditional (platonic) love and nurturing she had been offering him for several days, and she watched him painfully struggle before her eyes. Some things were left unsaid and then he pulled back and things started to unravel.
What felt like several lifetimes of friendship, laughter, conversations, shared meals and time spent together, started to fall apart in the most devastating way. She had lovingly cooked for him, guided him through yoga poses for his back, given him guided meditations and chakra sounds to listen to every morning, given him supplements and Bach Flower Remedies to help him feel and give unconditional love plus discover his path in life. She taught him an arm caressing exercise for lowering cortisol and eliciting feelings of motherly love, EMF tapping to help him release stress, alternate nostril breathing from yoga, positive affirmations and declarations to empower his every day, essential oils for the spirit. She did a castor oil pack on his liver, poured baths for him with sacred essential oils, healing herbs and salts and witnessed his transformation from sad, ungrounded and distraught, to grounded, hopeful, happy and even joyous, filled with laughter in just a few days.
True, unconditional love heals, without a doubt! Ms. M made zero demands of Mr. M and let him know he was free to come and go as he pleased since her home was his home. “Mi Casa, Tu Casa” is what she said to him several times, and she meant it.
There are many more details to this story that make it my favorite, fun and funny, deeply heartfelt love story in this lifetime. I feel like I’ve been starring in a movie with him (he has been an actor) and want to write a script for it.
Note: Since knowing Mr. M, my feelings of unconditional love have exploded, not only for him, but for my private yoga clients, the resident MDs I teach yoga to, my sisters, daughters, friends, and everyone else I encounter. I feel inspired like I have not felt in years. I developed newfound patience, a desire to delve more deeply into my yoga teaching and to finally take the yoga teacher training to be able to teach yoga in the prison system, something I have been thinking about for more than 10 years. Mr. M brought out the best in me and restored my faith in love, without saying a word about love to me, but just by being his lovely, gentle and surrendered self. But you know, the heart doesn’t lie! There are more signals from the heart to the brain than from the brain to the heart, as per research by HeartMath. From the heart is where our authentic feelings are born, and where our guidance for an authentic life needs to emerge from, not from the logical brain! My heart has never felt more filled with love and I am as happy as I’ve ever been, akin to when I was raising my 4 baby daughters. They say the mother child relationship is the perfect one. Well there was definitely a mother child relationship aspect to what I felt for Mr. M, even though he is man turning 40, not a boy. He has an innocent, boyish nature about him, but that is just one aspect of him. He’s an intelligent, critical thinker, and life-long seeker. My first love was 18 years older than me, my former husband was 8 years older than me, so this is a completely different relationship dynamic for me and such an unexpected but welcome surprise!
To be continued, if and when it continues to unfold and evolve. Mr. M picked up the rest of his belongings yesterday afternoon after moving out a week ago. I have no idea where he is living, but he was supposed to move into an apartment three minutes from mine, which he invited me to go see with him. When I asked him if he had finally secured the apartment recently in a text message, he did not reply, so I didn’t pry or force the issue. I will leave you with this thought: It is never too late to experience this kind of love. Pray for it. I feel I’ve waited eons for this experience and would wait until the end of time for it, if I had to.
I’m currently on lesson 46 of a wonderful 49 lesson course, Calling In The One on Mindvalley, so I had already been doing the healing work on myself in order to be ready and able to receive a spiritual love in my life when I met Mr. M. I’m hoping he is the One I’ve been calling in, but am also trusting in the process of life that all is in Divine order and unfolding exactly as it should, knowing full well that there may be other plans for me and for him, and that maybe we were just brought together to save one another, so to speak, and to spark sacred love in each other’s hearts.
Life is so wonderful and mysterious!
Even as I feel our world is in the process of falling apart and things have never felt more upside down, strange, or downright dysfunctional in society, I am hopeful for a New Earth after all the patriarchal systems that have held us back as a civilization self-destruct! Things have to fall apart before they can come back together in a better way. I believe the corrupt, patriarchal systems that were built in order to control and enslave us are on their way out, making way for the return of The Divine Feminine! I am not conventional.
This is so beautiful! I had tears of recognition during parts of the story. It is so wonderful to actually break open the doors of the heart and allow the Divine love to burst through. It colors everything in life with ecstasy. I felt like you are a sister soul while immersed in your story. Thank you! 🙏🏻💖
Myriam, I found this bit very interesting:
"From the heart is where our authentic feelings are born, and where our guidance for an authentic life needs to emerge from, not from the logical brain! . . ."
It makes me wonder if you have read Glenda Green's account of her direct interaction with Jesus:
"Love without end. Jesus Speaks . . ." ??
If not, you will find this entrancing, I believe. I am about half through it.